I’ve come across some wild historical events that make me question whether people centuries ago were just making stuff up. Like, did you know Thomas Edison once electrocuted a circus elephant named Topsy? I also read that a soccer game in 1969 literally sparked a war between El Salvador and Honduras!
History is a crazy quilt made of both terrifying and downright absurd patches. Sure, we hear that history repeats itself, and it’s true—wars, economic crashes, pandemics—you name it. But it’s the truly bizarre stuff that makes you hope it never happens again.
Here are a few of the most random and unthinkable historical events that are actually true.
Stephen King’s Wife Threatened Divorce Over “Mambo No. 5” Song
When I think of the prolific horror-genre author of iconic books like The Shining and Carrie, I would never picture him dancing around his house to the 1999 Lou Bega hit “Mambo No. 5”. But I won’t knock him for it…it is a banger!
His wife, however, got pretty sick of hearing the song on repeat (I can’t blame her). Stephen King shared that his love for the song nearly cost him his marriage after his wife threatened to divorce him over his constant playing of the track. I guess he took the hint, though, as he’s still happily married to Tabitha King since 1971.
Hannibal Disguised 5,000 Cattle as His Army
Hannibal, the military general of Carthage in 183 B.C., was a tactical genius and must have been thrilled when his bold plans clicked into place. Did you know that he led elephants over the Alps to attack Rome? But his next move was even more brilliant.
He tied torches to 5,000 cattle horns and sent them in one direction, tricking the Romans into chasing them. Meanwhile, Hannibal’s real army slipped out of the valley by another route. Despite the livestock not really posing a threat, they appeared to be a giant army from afar, so his enemies “cow-ered” at the sight of them!
Erfurt Latrine Disaster
Have you thought about the most bizarre way to meet your end? This one’s probably the most ridiculous and grossest way to die. In 1184, during a grand celebration at the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt, Germany, a catastrophic accident occurred when the banquet hall floor collapsed, plunging over 60 nobles and clergy into a latrine below. Tragically, most of the attendees perished due to drowning in sewage or suffocation from toxic gases. A reminder to always double-check your party venue’s stability—or maybe just stay home!
1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis
When I first heard this, I thought it had to be a joke. The 1904 Olympic marathon in St. Louis was a total disaster. Only 14 out of 32 athletes finished. The first to complete was disqualified for cheating, and the actual winner was doped. Runners nearly died and stole from spectators, and the event was so badly organized that even amateur runners who hadn’t run a full marathon before could qualify.
Despite all of this, Andarin Carvajal from Cuba finished fourth, having hitchhiked to the race, run in street clothes, and stopped to chat with spectators and eat rotten apples. Crazy, right?
The Failed Assassination of President Andrew Jackson
Assassination plots have been part of American politics since the beginning, but this one’s almost too ridiculous to believe. On January 30, 1835, Richard Lawrence, an unemployed painter, tried to assassinate President Andrew Jackson outside the Capitol. He fired a pistol, but it misfired. Jackson aged 68 and in poor health, charged him with a cane. Lawrence pulled a second pistol—it misfired too!
Onlookers subdued Lawrence, and Jackson walked away unharmed. It’s so absurd it feels like a Saturday Night Live sketch. But then again, many things about the seventh president’s life sound fake, but they aren’t!
Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard Leading a 68-Hour Battle
Can you believe L. Ron Hubbard, the sci-fi writer turned Scientology religious leader, once had a multi-day naval showdown with a log? It gets even crazier from there!
In June 1942, he was given command of a patrol boat but was relieved because he wasn’t cut out for it. Later, in 1943, he was in charge of a submarine chaser and, after mistaking a magnetic deposit for an enemy sub, spent 68 hours in a fake battle. Things got even wilder when he accidentally fired on Mexican territory and was removed from command. And before he left the USS Algol in 1944, he reported a sabotage attempt.
The Terrible Voyage of the 1905 Russian Imperial Baltic Fleet
Voyage stories are usually epic, but this one’s a train wreck of epic proportions. The 1905 Russian Imperial Baltic Fleet set out to help Russia’s war effort against Japan, but their trip was a series of blunders. By October 25, they mistakenly fired on British fishing boats.
The real disaster struck when they finally met the Japanese fleet. But that’s the ONE time they didn’t think it was a Japanese ship, so they mistakenly gave their battle plan to the Japanese cruiser Shinano Maru. As a result, the Russian fleet was obliterated, with only three ships limping back to Vladivostok.
A War Amongst Chimpanzees
This might sound like a scene from Planet of the Apes, but it’s true. The Gombe Chimpanzee War, or the Four-Year War, was a fierce battle between two chimpanzee communities in Tanzania’s Gombe Stream National Park from 1974 to 1978. After the death of their leader, the faction split from the Kasakela community to form the Kahama group. Over the years, the Kahama’s males were wiped out, dismantling their group.
Who knew humans weren’t the only ones to wage war? Still blows my mind that apes can be so cunning and ruthless, just like us.
Operation Mincemeat
Operation Mincemeat might sound like a dark joke, but it was a real WWII plot twist. British spies dressed up a deceased homeless man as Captain (Acting Major) William Martin and planted fake invasion plans on him. The body was dropped off in Spain, where the Germans swallowed the deception and moved their troops away from Sicily. This trick helped liberate Sicily faster and with fewer losses. It’s so wild and sounds like something from a spy novel.
The Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist
I love a good heist story, and The Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist is pure audacity. It’s absolutely hilarious to steal nearly 3,000 tonnes of maple syrup—worth $18.7 million—from a Quebec storage facility! The thieves swapped syrup with water and sold the real stuff in small batches to avoid detection.
The Supreme Court later ordered the ringleader with a fine of over $7.2 million. The fact that the biggest heist in Canadian history involved maple syrup makes it all the more epic.
Source: Reddit
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